When it's over, it's time to start over.

Today I am going to give the floor to a friend and fellow blogger Ashley Maria who blogs over at She is smart and ahead of her time. If you want to learn a thing or two about life, love and being a beautiful woman inside and out then Ashley is your girl. I want to thank Ashley for this lovely and inspiring post. So Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you Ashley Maria.

When it's over, it's time to start over.

So, ladies... it's over.

You've cried all of your tears. Spent most of the days and nights thinking it all over and over and over again. You're done calling, texting, and social media stalking your ex. You've finally accepted it.

So... Now what?

Since the end of my relationship, I've asked myself the same question everyday. I think about what to do next. Being in a relationship calls for spending a lot of time with the other person and eventually planning a future with them. In the midst of all of this, you may forget what it's like to be yourself as an individual. I becomes Us and You becomes We. This isn't necessarily a bad thing, but after being in a serious relationship for a while, you may forget how to distinguish between the two.

So if and when the relationship ends, you may have the same conversation that I have with myself everyday. What the heck am I gonna do now?

If that's the case, I have a few tips on what some of those things may be...

1. Get fit!
Join a gym! Get back to the gym! Start getting active!
What's a better way to get your life back on track then taking control of your health?
Plus, it wouldn't hurt getting back in those old jeans! ;)

2. Rediscover Your Friends and Family
Surround yourself with people that love, support, and care about you.
Head out with your girlfriends for a ladies night!
Call up the ladies in your family for a mani/pedi day or movie night!
In the moments when the pain of a relationship hits, being around them will make all the difference.

3. Have Quiet Time
When ever I'm feeling overwhelmed with phone calls, texts, emails, social media,
I shut my phone off (or put it on silent), close my laptop, turn the television off and just lay back.
You'd be surprised what this can do.
Meditate, do yoga, listen to soft music, write down your thoughts, or just sit in silence and clear your mind.

4. Redefine Your Goals and Meet Them!
This is something I do every single day. I take my notebook and start thinking of things that I want to accomplish. I start out with my short term goals and begin to think about the long term.
This year, I want to finish a certain amount of classes, lose weight, move out, and possibly start a new job.
What are yours?

5. Get Dolled Up!
Girl, go get your hair did!
Get yo nails did!
Get yo makeup did!
Get a new outfit!
Go look and feel beautiful for you, girl!

6. Know Your Worth
Never, ever forget your worth.
Even though the relationship is over, that does not mean that you are a failure...period!
Things happen for a reason, we all make mistakes but this does not mean that we are failures.
We live and we learn.
WE define our worth. No one else.
Plain and simple.

7. Find a Hobby
For me, it's makeup.
When ever I get the chance, I sit myself in front of my makeup and go to town.
And now, I'm slowly turning back to music and writing again.
What's something that you're interested in but never tried?

8. Understand That It's Okay to Be Alone
Everyone needs someone, it's true. We'll all find that special someone one day.
In the meantime, it's okay to be alone. In fact, it's a good thing.
Rediscover you. Find out who YOU are as yourself.

9. Remain Positive
Having a positive attitude on things makes all the difference.

10. Live
Keep going, girlfriend.
Things only get better from here.
...but only if you want them to.

Talk to you soon ladies...

If there is a relationship based post you would like to share on the relationship daily, whether it be advice, support, inspiration of any kind, please feel free to send a E-mail.

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Women aren't born a bitches, they become bitches

Bitch, Is a word used to describe a female dog or a word used to describe a non conforming human female.
I personally only use the word when I see anyone male or female being hateful and spiteful for no good reason. But as I have grown, I have learned a lot about why men say or use the word Bitch.

To me a Bitch is a woman who will not except anything  that she feels she doesn't deserve under any circumstances.

Women aren't born a bitches, they become bitches.

When a Person is pushed into a corner and they feel their happiness and overall well being is being threatened, they become defensive and go into oh, no you didn't mode. Relationship after relationship, the woman at some point grows a brain and stands up and states Enough is Enough! I will not be made a doormat for you!. I will not stand by and watch you waste not only your life by mine as well! I will not accept any BS from anyone at any time in my short life. The only men on this earth that are allowed to receive unconditional love from me are my sons period.

I am not your mother, I am not your sister. You will be expected to play your part, you will be expected to be the man you play yourself off to be, If I see this is just a front, believe me, I will let you know. Loudly and clearly. If you don't like it remember, I survived without you before and I will survive again!

Yes I am a bitch, but you know what your BS made this bitch.

So next time you ask why your lady is being a bitch, instead ask what you did to make her a bitch.

This is not a personal post, just something I was thinking. What do you think?

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Always the last to know

The wife or husband is always the last to know, when it comes to cheating or affairs.

Is this because we are so wrapped up in the situation we can't see it? Or are we too busy thinking about ourselves that we can't feel the distance that has come into the relationship?

I have been through something like this many years ago and many people who knew about the affair tried to warm me and tell me, without actually saying "Hey! your husband is sleeping with someone else."
I was so wrapped up in the kids and the house I obviously wasn't paying attention. I was so naive that I couldn't see or hear the warning signs.

I know that 10 years later this my ex regrets the choice he made, because I left the relationship. Not on account of the cheating, I didn't find out until weeks later after the separation that there was someone else.
He ended up marrying her and having 4 children.

I left for not having a partner, for feeling alone in a relationship with two kids. I have grown a lot since that relationship and I have learned a lot. I was immature, I didn't know much and my ex didn't want to give me the chance to grow into a person.

He still cheats on her he admitted to me years later, he is just that guy. I don't know that what they say about once a cheater always a cheater is true or not, but he makes it seem true. I don't know if she knows or not or is lying in the bed she made for herself, but they seem okay with each other.

I still ask myself from time to time, looking back and asking myself why couldn't I see it? The only thing I can come up with is that I was on a different path. I was more interested in my kids and my home. Different priorities I guess.

Is it because I wouldn't think about doing it, that I automatically think anyone else would?
Why do you think the the spouse or partner is always the last to know?

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The truth is nothing will change

When you are allowing them back for another try, there is a fear that sets in. A fear of not knowing how it will go. Will things change? Will they be the same?

The truth is nothing will change.

I will just become more lenient and over look a lot. To be honest, in my experience with relationships I have learned one thing people don't change. My sister often tells me, that I have this knack for being with people I feel I can help or change their world for them.

Every guy I have been with has had family issues.
They have all been the black sheep of them family.
They have all been through a horrible past relationship.

I don't know what draws me to these people, but this is where I find myself.

I am a fixer, a make it all better type of person and I take this upon myself many times, feeling I need to make it better or I know how to fix this.

People don't change, I change.

If you are trying to fix a plumbing problem yourself and nothing you try is working, what's the next step?
Call a plumber? Right?

I mean I try to make things right and make things all better, but sometimes people can't be fixed, they just come as they are. This is either accepted or not.

Maybe, my problem is trying to fix someone, maybe my trying to fix someone needs to be fixed.

I should stop doing this, I should not want to fix anyone.
But when you see someone who is lost aren't you going to offer directions?
Do I help or just let it go?

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5 Questions to ask yourself during a breakup

Breaking up is never easy. It hurts not because the relationship may be over, but it hurts because here we go again has hit you hard and you trying so hard to make things right for everyone involved, but your confused and weighing your options. 

The Clash put it best. Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble An' if I stay it will be double! I suggest your listen to this song it is a all out scream fest, but do it alone, people will stare. 

I have composed a list of questions you should ask yourself during a breakup to help you when you are trying to figure out what you should do. Keep in mind that there is no right or wrong answer, listen to your heart and do whats best for you.

5 Questions to ask yourself during a breakup.

5 questions to ask yourself during a breakup

Thanks for reading please like and share this post with someone you feel might need to see it :)

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Being wrong doesn't make you bad.

Sometimes we have to face the fact that we are the ones who are wrong, but that doesn't make us bad.

My dad once said that I am the worse person to give relationship advice, after all I have had a series of long and bad relationships. But I think that makes me the right person to get relationship advice from. 
I mean don't we learn by watching other peoples mistakes or failures?

I am not claiming to know everything.
I am not using this blog to shoutout how right I am or how wrong my partner is.

I am going to be writing about how I feel good or bad, no sugar coating.
I am going to fight the stereotypes that say we have to be married or living with someone.
I am going to fight the stereotypes that say an older single woman is an old maid.

I am going to fight with all my power to show the world that an older single woman, 
can do anything she puts her mind to. 

I am sorry dad, I know I have failed many times, I may not know what to do to have a successful relationship, But I am sure as hell know what not to do.

So many people worry about being the wrong one in a relationship. Who cares! I would rather be wrong than miserable. 

How about you?